+TO TAKE A BITE WITHOUT CONSIDERING.
THE UNWILLINGNESS TO MIND MY OWN FUCKING BUSINESS.
I AM TIRED OF NOT CARING FOR MYSELF, AND I AM TIRED OF PRETENDING I DON'T TAKE CARE OF PEOPLE ALL THE FUCKING TIME. I AM TIRED OF OFFERING WITHOUT REPAYMENT, WHERE IS YOUR CARE FOR ME.
I WANT TO TAKE FOR ONCE.
I WANT (CAN I WANT, PLEASE...?)
TO TAKE BITE WITHOUT CONSIDERING.
I AM NOT JESUS, NOR DO I BELIEVE.
+ISOLATION DROVE ME INTO AN IMAGE OF EGOCENTRIC INDEPENDENCY.
I'M SURE SHE SWAM BEFORE, YEAH, NO, SHE IS NOT DROWNING, JUST LET HER DO HER THING.
I HAVE NEVER SEEN SOMETHING SHE COULD NOT DO.
How have you seen into my mind and ripped out my truth? I am sick to my stomach (for you), I am shamefully relived (for me, that I am not alone in this feeling). The inability to mind my own business has plagued me since birth. Sure, it has led me to the aid of many but the distance from myself continues to increase. I hope that you care for yourself, if even a fraction more since you wrote this. Care is your birthright in the same way freedom and happiness are. Equally, I hope you the find balance in your tender, giving heart required to receive, want, and take as much as you offer. I hope that you embrace your want. Wanting is no easy feat, neither is it sin. It is only natural. Your wants should be acknowledged, celebrated and appropriately fulfilled - independently AND by others. Personal strength (or whatever it is people are always referencing to the overlooked), does not negate struggle, does not eliminate the need for support. You are as prone to drowning as anyone else, that’s not a moral failing. I again, hope (because I am no God, I can not interfere) that the people around you are able to recognise this. That you are given everything you desire and more.
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